Change takes time. It is not a process that will yield results overnight. The phrase ‘you reap what you sow’ is very applicable to change, and this is something that is not only unknown to many but also understandably hard to take on board.
Making a post about the duration of change comes with a mandatory reflection on modern life. You press the on switch, and do you wait? Perhaps a few moments, 10 minutes at the most, but the result is relatively instantaneous. From the noble light switch to the faithful microwave and of course, the ever present computer, our modern day livlyhoods are by no means slowing down.
When a student sits down feeling frustrated about having not done their next homework that is due in, or not revised for the upcoming examination the thoughts of frustration may quickly set in. After searching and searching for a way to change the bad habits there and then, it is a real blow to realize that there is literally no way of fixing the mess that has been created in the now, the imminent catastrophe. This then leads to feelings of giving in, and the logic works something like this:
1. I am frustrated about my bad habits, I want to make a change.
2. I have actively searched for a way to change these habits, but found no quick fix that will help me right now.
3. If I cannot fix the situation right in front of me, I give up.
Going through the many stages of self development will inevitably land you at this ruck, at least once or twice, if not once every week. I for one always find that the more I try and make a difference to my habits the more I just end up at this stage, the unforgiving sucker punch that life seems to respond with just as we are about to make a difference to our lives.
Unfortunately, I cannot provide you with a definitive answer of how to beat this rather nasty problem as I too am a mere mortal in the realm of self development, and am therefore as constrained by the problem as you are, dear reader. However… the more I read my books and various internet articles the more knowledgable I become.
At this point, I’d like to pause and make note about a genuine experience itself as opposed to reading something – first hand versus second hand. Without delving to deep into this separate area, or keeping this post too long for that matter, it is important to keep in mind that one must experience something for them self to appreciate it over simply reading or hearing about something. An appropriate example of this would be a boy being told at a young age not to touch the cooker whilst Mummy is making food. “You will hurt yourself! You will cry! It would be a very foolish thing to do!” may exclaim the mother, having burned herself before many times. The boy would listen to these warnings but inevitably one day he did indeed touch the fire and was mildly burned on his hand. The prophecy came true, and he cried, and it hurt, and he realized it was a foolish thing to do. His mother had been right all along, yet there was a difference between being told what would happen and actually experiences it for himself. Now that he had done, he would be very careful around hot surfaces in the future – he had learned his lesson.
Back on topic, the action that I have come to believe may hold the answer to getting past this hurdle is taking things one step, or one habit, at a time. I have infured this answer from www.zenhabits.com, so all credit goes to the fella who rights the incredibly interesting blog over there, but to summarize his advise on getting through this, instead of trying to tackle all your bad habits and issues at once, simply focus on one at a month or so at a time and once you are happy with the change move onto the next problem.
The problem is of course, this solution still doesn’t fix the problems that may have caused this state of mind in the first place, I’m talking about the homework due in, the report that needs to be finished, or the bill that needs paying. Unfortunately, it may indeed be a lost cause. Do not feel down hearted though, that is the pitfall. Instead, take a blow now but sow seeds of change for the future. Whatever it is you have to endure as a consequence, no matter how inconvienet or uncomfortable, you will endure and overcome it. The difference is what will be the case next time around, be it in a week, a month or a year away from now. Will you be in the same situation, stuck in the mud and desperatly trying to find a way out? Or will you have taken the foresight from you previous failing and built foundations for an improved future?
Alas, I cannot really be a judge on what you do or don’t end up doing for it would be rather hypocritical. I myself have yet to make the big step forward that I just mentioned, sowing the seeds for change in the future. The primary reason for me to write down these entries is really to get my words out and express what I am thinking in the hope that it will allow me to understand myself clearer. If I happen to help someone else in the same situation along the way, then it will make it even more worth it.